AUNTY BELLA - MISS NEW LEAF

Dear Aunty Bella,
I really enjoy all the Aunty Bella series and would like to share my dilemma with you.
I just turned 30 and feel like I have finally reached a turning point in my life.
See from my teens and all through most of my twenties, I was a real WILD CHILD.
I used to be very quiet, reserved and shy as a child but I was one of those girls that developed very early physically. My father is white while my mother is Nigerian so I am of mixed heritage. Along with all that came a false sense of confidence, boys (and men) were constantly chasing after me. I never had to do any work in school or elsewhere. Guys would do my homework for me, buy things for me etc…
I never knew my father, as I believe he was on a posting to Nigeria when my mother got pregnant and he left soon after never to be heard from again.
My mother tried her best but we never had much but from meeting me, you would never guess. I always looked well dressed and well groomed from head to toe.
When I was 18 and awaiting admission to university, I met this older gentleman who started ‘taking care of me’. Since my teens, I had had boyfriends who spoilt me but this was on another level, he sent me to school in Europe and just showed me the so-called ‘luxury’ life. I am talking about diamonds, trips round the world, living in the Dorchester for months and all that.
All this time, I told everyone I met that my father was a late European royal who died and left me his inheritance to explain how I could afford my lifestyle.
When I was in Europe, I rebelled against my older ‘boyfriend’ (this man was actually older than my father) and started keeping other boyfriends and that is how my life started to spiral further downwards.
My boyfriend dropped me and stopped paying my fees. All the guys that I was dating suddenly disappeared when I could not afford to keep up with the spending (I later realized that many of these guys were after ‘my money’ and fictional ‘inheritance’)
To cut the long story short, my twenties were filled drugs, men, hopping from one place to the other, squatting with friends and generally having no direction in life. I finally moved back to Nigeria about 3 years ago, I got here and continued on the same path of partying and men. 2 years ago, I woke up one morning and it was as if I saw myself for who I truly was. I looked in the mirror and cried. I looked old, gaunt, saggy and used. I cried for hours but that was a turning point. I prayed, I moved away from Lagos and built my relationship with God. Somehow, my pastor’s wife who had a similar background took me under her wing, allowed me to stay in their house and got me a job. I am now doing very well in my job and happy with my life. The problem is that after being celibate and staying off men for these 2 years, I have finally met someone who respects me. He is courting me in the Christian way and is very serious about our relationship. Here is my problem, I don’t know if to tell him about my past. Bella and readers, I have done some unimaginable things, things that you only read about in novels, the wildest things you can imagine both with drugs and men. It took me a long time to forgive myself but even now I still have crying fits and feelings of depression because of the wasted years.
My man is a saint, believe it or not, he is a successful, handsome man in his thirties yet he is celibate and focused on his relationship with Christ, he was born in Nigeria but grew up in the US and doesn’t have that many friends in Nigeria (I am guessing that is why he has not heard my story). I feel the need to tell him my story but I am scared that even though he loves me, he will not be able to handle it, other men who seemed serious have dropped me in the past once they found out about my past so you see why I am afraid. When I have children in the future (especially daughters), I don’t know if to tell them about my life as well.
Please what should I do, should I tell him or just enter this marriage like that.
Also, I am afraid that if I don’t tell him, one of his friends or family will spill the beans later. Please help!

Miss New Leaf

WOW! Please give her your advice. I admire Miss New Leaf for overcoming her past.

DEOLA SAGOE - JAMAICA & NEW LOOKS

Hey Everyone!
How's it going?
Thanks for the congrats on my non-existent engagement! I was really deeply touched...LOL
Anyways, some people guessed right so you can go take a look at the comments from yesterday and find out what's going on.

Deola Sagoe showed an updated collection at the CatWalk the World - Fashion For Food Event in Jamaica a week or so ago.
The international press was sooooo impressed and she was commended in various high profile magazines and newspapers so congrats to Deola!
The Times UK Article
Jamaica Gleaner Article

The CatWalk the World movement has raised thousands of dollars and highlighted the issue of child hunger since it was launched in Lagos over a year ago.
Anyways, here are photos from the event in Jamaica.
Show styled by Ayomide Macmillian Akan

THE SHOW









Here are some photos of Deola's exquisite new collection including Haute Couture line, Couture footwear line and her new denim line (I believe this is a first for a Nigerian designer)
All Photos below styled by Arieta Mujay

THE FOOTWEAR




THE DENIM



THE COUTURE





Also check out Toni Payne's Blog for more pics
Check out Deola's Official Website
For more on CatWalk the World, visit their official website
For more on the World Food Programme
We can all make a difference!!!

Anyways, every single thing is pure HauTeness! No questions asked...I love Deola's creativity and I'm glad she is applying it to a great cause as well!
Have a great day everyone!!!
I have been meaning to say this, make sure you check out the LadyBrille Website and Blog...Tres Fab!

Ciao

TREND - AGE AINT NOTHIN' BUT A NUMBER

Hey Everyone!!!!
What’s good? I hope you had a great weekend because mine was f-a-b!
My friends threw me a surprise party! I was sooo shocked…Thanks sweeties!
It wasn’t my birthday nor was it a bridal or baby shower LOL…so you’ll just have to guess what the surprise party was for…
Anyways, hope that you are enjoying your summer so far…wherever you are in the world! I can’t wait to go to the beach somewhere and start rocking the bikinis and all that.
Did you vote for your fav on the Blogville Idol blog? This weekend’s theme was Nigerian songs! The contestants did a really great job…I was impressed! Pink Satin and Opeke…u girls rock…the judges are very impressive too so check out all the action - HERE

LOL…Today’s post is soooo random!
Sometimes when I am trying to figure out what to post, the most random ideas come into my head…Anyways, here goes enjoy…
I have noticed that over the last year or so, several prominent male Nigerian musicians have married or become engaged to women older than them. I actually think this is a progressive movement, in that, these men and women are bucking societal restrictions and following their hearts.
So many men in Nigeria marry women, decades younger for whatever reason and noone bats an eyelid…So why not the women?

Dare Art-Alade and Deola Ayeni
Earlier this year, Dare married his girlfriend, Interior Designer, Deola Ayeni. I really think they complement each other as a couple. All the best in their marriage.

Peter Okoye (P-Square) and Lola Omotayo
Peter from the Nigerian musical duo, P-Square has been dating ad executive, Lola Omotayo for over a year. Despite the age difference and all the uproar, they are still together, doing their thing.

Soul E (Emmanuel Oluwatosin Ifechukwude Okose) and Ure Queen Okezie
The Nigerian newspapers and magazines have been having a field day with this over the last week. Rising musician, Soul E of ‘Soul E Baba Dey Here’ fame is engaged/married (Apparently they have completed the registry ceremony) to Ure Okezie, a divorced former bank executive who is 11 years older than him.


Usher Raymond and Tameka Foster
This has also happened on the international scene with 29-year-old singer, Usher who is currently engaged to Tameka Foster, who is over a decade older than him divorced with 3 children.

Please this is a fun discussion so lets not break it down to something else.
Anyways, so what do you think?
Ladies, would you marry/seriously date a younger man?
Guys, would you marry/seriously date an older woman?
Let us know…

Have a great week!