Tuesday, January 22, 2008

BN PROSE - MAMA

Hiya luvs,
Here is another edition of BN Prose.
This one was submitted by fab and talented blogger: Shola Pacheco
In case you missed the first edition, click HERE
Enjoy!
Story edited by BN
_______________________________________________________
It’s been only three days into my visit,
I’ve been feeling so drowsy; I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since I arrived
The sound of the generator is doing my head in
There is only one thought comforting me, its two months to my wedding day
I intend to enjoy myself as much as I can and not even electricity (or lack thereof) can get in my way
My sweetheart is picking me up in less than thirty minutes so I have to get ready
Cant keep my bossy, egocentric mother-in-law to-be waiting or can I?
We are going shopping

Cringe!

I am seriously dreading spending time with that woman
Tokunbo comes in looking his best
MY Toks
I love this man!
His shaven head, his dark as smooth coal skin…
I’m such a lucky girl
For a moment, I just keep staring at him and wondering how this angel could have been brought to this world by such a woman
Black pot - white pudding
Anyway, I only have to humour her for another few weeks and am out with my baby
I always knew she didn’t like me
I once overheard her say it
She says I am not Yoruba
That I am not polished, after all I did not attend finishing school in Switzerland like her daughters
She even mentioned that I looked like someone who would get fat in the future
IMAGINE
Anyway, who cares!
On the other hand, my future father-in-law, Uncle Akinola (well, in 2 months, he will become ‘Dad’), is already like my second father
Kind, cultured, well admired with a heart of gold
Good men, bad woman
Trust me, Tokunbo feels almost same as I do but he has never mentioned it
How can one speak bad of their own mother

As we approach Tok’s parents house, I keep reciting the Hail Marys in my head even though I have never stepped foot in a Catholic Church
I just can’t stand her
As we step inside the estate, I see her sitting in the garden
As usual she makes it seem like she is competing with me for Tokunbo’s attention
I hate to admit it but she looks good
If only she didn’t bleach then pancake her skin, she would look stunning
She just goes on and on about how she just returned from a shopping ‘tour’ – Tokyo, Dubai, London, Paris, Monte Carlo & Beverly Hills

So?

‘Olatokunbo....should I wear my Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses or the Gucci pair?’
‘Toksy, black or gold sandals?’
‘TK, which fragrance should I use?’
On & on
She spends another 2 hours looking for what to wear
Then she starts
She just goes on and on about how she doesn’t like my choice of wedding gown
Say what?
She says it looks cheap, it doesn’t look decent, and that it makes me look podgy & stout!
In my head, I just feel like being Laila Ali with this woman
It’s my wedding, if you don’t like it, don’t bother
Off we go to Oyeog fabrics, by the time we get there, I am still fuming!
Tokunbo just knows the right moments to throw me a ‘cool it with her babe’ glare
Thank God for him
Unless....

As the day goes along, she just goes on and on changing every single idea I spent months working at
The colours of the aso-ebi, the designs, almost everything!
We soon get all we need; we drop her off at home
At that moment, I need my space, I ask Tokunbo to drop me off at Ada’s house

As soon as I get there, my phone goes off
Guess who it is, my Iya Eko, party-loving mother-in-law
I think to myself hasn’t this woman given me hell enough for one day?

‘Hello ma’

‘Yes, Victoria I just wanted you to know you have to do some adjustments to your wedding gown I don’t like the way its shaped I want it loose a bit…yes very loose...’

‘but mummy I cant do that it will spoil the design and besides what if they stain the dress or ruin the beading?’

‘they wont, I have a friend who is a good tailor she had been practicing before you were born....she made several wedding gowns and for big BIG society weddings......’

‘ok ma, please lets discuss later....mummy...mummy....the reception here isn’t too good.....’

I hang up…

hell no!
There is no way I am going to let some 1933 tailor lay a finger on my Vera Wang dress
After I spent 2 months of my hard earned salary on it
Now ...........am really going mad

I beg Ada to take me for a drive, I just need fresh air to clear my head
Ada has been driving around for a bit, we are approaching the Protea Oakwood Park Resort
Ada suggests that we pull into the hotel to have lunch...
Lunch?....
I don’t even have any cash on me but Ada offers to pay

The atmosphere is peaceful, it is like people here don’t have worries
We are looking around and we end up at the hotel’s restaurant where we order
The food is delish!
The restaurant is becoming noisy compared to when we first walked in so we decide to walk around the resort…
Ah Serenity!

Something catches my eye from a distance
Just a flash I think I see something
Yes I do
Lo and behold!
It is Tokunbo’s mum
Is this woman stalking me or something?
She is sitting down on a lounge chair dressed down in a pair of extremely tight embellished skinny jeans and a fitted red top
There she goes feeling funky again
She gets up suddenly and wraps her arms around a young man
She gives him a lingering kiss on the lips
Ah ah
That is definitely not Uncle Akin
...wow she was in the arms of someone else
Goodness me!
Who would have thought?
Face painting, pancaking, show-off Mama Eko was getting her groove on with someone else

I keep staring and made sure Mama Eko sees me
It isn’t the best to do but she had given me enough grief for one day....

My phone rings all night....
I ask my younger sister to pick up
Mama Eko had called me all night
Not knowing what to expect, I call her up in the morning

The phone doesn’t even ring,

‘Hello Victoria …’‘

'good morning ma......’

‘How are you, my darling.......
hope you slept well, iyawo mi, omo da da.......my darling…
I just wanted you to know that I love your wedding dress....and its okay just as it is…
It flatters your cute shape so much….
you know the first day TK showed me your picture, I admired your shape…
I wish I had such a dress and beautiful physique when I got married…
you don’t need to loosen it.....and the colours we picked for the traditional wedding, I think I don’t really like the colours again, we can go to the shop at your convenience to pick the other colours you wanted....’

I am flabbergasted!

I just say thank you and hang up

My heart was pounding after the call what do I do?
Am a new bride-to-be, with secrets on my mother-in-law
What do I do?
What if she plans against me........

44 comments:

coolgal said...

nice one bella!

coolgal said...

Shola's is a good writer

AbujabBabe said...

I am Luving it! I can def relate.. More More!..

Zena said...

i really liked it,

really, what does one do in that sort of situation?

Uzo said...

LOL....

Wow...I cant even begin to figure this one out...

Wonderfully written though...

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

Those secrets can be used to blackmail her in the future...lol, just kidding. Funny story!

omolabake said...

Very good story............Is there a part 2?

Abi said...

Very well written....but errrmm really what does one do????? hmm....

Anonymous said...

I will seal my lips and save the gist to use when i see fit. No point telling anyone what i saw. Someone else will surely spot her and tell. Her mother in law is a natural manipulator and conniving busy body.....she is bound to say or do something that will warrant a silent blackmail note for her daughter in law.

Unbiased said...

Victoria needs to keep the secret o!! It is invaluable currency. it might be the only thing that will give her peace in her marriage cause the devils hands are tied with it so to speak.

If she was smart she should have gotten pictures on her phone for 'security'.

Anonymous said...

lol shebi iyale has started begging, the babe should just act like she never saw her and keep playing along ... God has answered her prayers IMHO

Benin Libran..Uncut said...

hahahahahaaaa! nice one...beautifully written. it actually felt like I was there!

well, in a real-life situation, one keeps mouth zipped! as in completely ZIPPED! its none of your business really. afterall if you caught ur mom cheating, u wont report to ur dad abi?

truth said...

Nice write-up. Victoria and her mother-in-law do share a ounce of vanity......"My Vera Wang dress" vs "Tokunbo, Peridot OR Ruby"...lol, ok I know she said "D&G or Gucci".

A nice read....so what next for the bride aware of a shameful secret?

truth said...

..oh I forgot to add my answer.....it's a green card apparently belled around the noisest cat's neck.Lol. Bravo.

Olu said...

catching her mama in law is her JOKER..she shud jus keep d secret and enjoy her mama-in-law bribing!

rethots said...

Hmm....intriguing, the deed is done, it needs no renewal. A sure passport (to both live in peace one with the other) it is.

Girlie said...

hmmn...very interesting post!!!

am still thinking of what my comment would be!!!lol

ink said...

na wa o! i cant wait for part 2!! lol...loved it!

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

love the blog hun...gd luck on ure wedding

that was a good peice

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

love the blog hun...gd luck on ure wedding

that was a good peice

Nwanyi Ocha said...

Very nice .....

disagree with most comments thou, think she should tell TK

geisha said...

thats hilarious!
brilliant piece

Naija Chickito said...

A really nice piece.

chichi said...

ko easy o!

terrible matter on ground!! lol

Anonymous said...

nice write up
you have to tell TK, cos dat mother-in -law will one day take you by suprise.

shola pacheco said...

thanks alot bella,completely forgotten abt this piece,thanks for the extra job bella

in my own opinion,i will have to tell my husband,no one dines with the devil cos the devil never gives up,if she doesnt this same mother-in-law will find a way to kick her out

RJ said...

LOL! Payback is a bitch - I'd take advantage of it to the fullest.

Anonymous said...

omo, that one na joker...hold on to it until it's absolutely needed!

Anonymous said...

hmm....maybe she should ask her mom for advise...an older woman might help her make the right decision.

fade said...

lol!

i can totally relate,wat she saw is a fantastic trump card.however she needs to watch her back cos mum in law is probably scared witless.

Anonymous said...

I am really sorry and you lost me there, Bella. Who's Shola Pacheo? Can anyone, pls, explain?

Although she is a good writer. And i will like to know more about her. Is she based in Nigeria? As i'm not.

Thanks in advance for the answers.

Temmy said...

Is this story fiction or is it for real.
Anyway I think u should confide in your mum, but please dont tell your hubby as he would just think u dont like his mother and you are just been vindictive.

Keep to it to yourself or tell ur mother, no one would believe u.

emma said...

WOW!!! Great story telling.

misidreads said...

Well done Bella for such innovative find,Shola keep up the good job,fantastic story or is it true.Well as for me i will def keep shut knowing i have her under my power....lol

Ariiyike said...

for a second, i thot it was a true story.
Nice one!

Anonymous said...

This is for Shola since one has to sign in to leave comments on her blog .....

Dear Shola,
Your blog is nice and your story on bellanaija is really wonderful. However, pls do us all a favor and use punctuation marks on ur blog. It hurts the eyes so much just trying to read ur posts.
Just healthy critique ..... no bad belle at all.

Calabar Gal said...

She just got a weapon that will guarantee her peace in her marital home. Her mother in law wont disturb her again - she can be sure of that. As long as she keeps her lips sealed.

Favoured Girl said...

Love the story. Hmmm, what does one do with a mother-in-law from hell? I think she should keep it to herself but seriously watch her back!

Anonymous said...

What is the camera in your mobile phone for!!!!!!

Naija Vixen said...

nice one! i found myself smilin 2wards the end. a part of me will tell my husband-2-b and a part of me, actually i will kip it 2 myself and blackmail ha in future, just in case...

Zee said...

wow... A really interesting story... I would have absolutely taken a picture of it before walking up to her.. and i would definitely use it to blackmail her in the future..lool.. it would be our little secret..lool.. so things will keep going my way...

shola pacheco said...

hi anon.5.50.will do as ASAP.thanks 4 visiting.hi bella hope am allowed 2 do this

Dipo Tepede said...

@ Shola

I dont know what to say but to keep encouraging u to keep writing;

This was masterly crafted!

Dipo Tepede

www.dipotepede.com

Anu boy said...

oh boy... this one na different story oh...

babe is in trouble, she needs to act fast oh...

how she wan even tell Tk sef